I’ve had a long-standing relationship with the banking sector, which has evolved from being regarded as a valued customer to, at best, someone to be tolerated.
My first encounter with hospitality in this context dates back to 1979, shortly after we acquired a company named Couzens and Akers. I found myself disbursing £100,000 daily to keep the business afloat. During this period, I received a phone call from the bank manager of Barclays at Bloxwich, our bank at the time. He invited me to a lunchtime meal, which seemed like a good idea. So, I booked a table at The Midland Hotel in central Birmingham, and the bank manager agreed to pick me up from Lozells, where our company was based. Unfortunately, unfamiliar with Birmingham, the bank manager scraped his car along the wall of the hotel’s curved driveway which cast a shadow over our meal as he pondered the possibility of claiming the damage on his insurance.
Subsequent invitations to hospitality were sparse. However, an offer from the branch manager in Worcester to dine at the Chateau Impney caught my eye. Despite the grandeur of the venue, the event was held in an annexe, and we missed the opportunity to experience the hotel’s true splendour, spending the evening on wooden benches listening to endless banking jargon.
Another memorable experience was being invited to a track day, a privilege for a select group of clients, at Brands Hatch. The day offered an array of cars to test drive, including pushing a Smart car to 98 miles per hour, and the thrill of laps with a professional driver in a rally car. The event was enjoyable, with good food and company, but it was a one-time invitation that I never again qualified for.
Years later in 2018, our “relationship manager” from the bank invited me for a meal at a country club. Given the rarity of such occasions, I accepted, only to listen to tales of his ankle injury and his upcoming extended leave due to accumulated holiday time.
Reflecting on these experiences, it seems improbable that I will enjoy further hospitality from any bank. Their current approach seems to involve lengthy phone queues, underscored by an endless loop of Sade’s music, rather than any customer engagement.